Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
This was inspired by a sweet, sad little comic called "But you Didn't". If you haven't read it, you ought because it's wonderful. I've always wanted to write something of a similar format and here it is. Let me know what you think!
'But we didn't' - It always caught my attention because it was separate from all the other paragraphs each time you did it, showing it's importance to the story. It also helped me gauge where things would end up.
Sadness. You did a superb job in evoking different emotions throughout the story! I've noticed that sad endings tend to stay with people longer. Which doesn't mean that happy endings are bad, but you did a great job with this ending!
How would you have rewritten the ending to make it happy instead of sad? Or, how would you have continued this? You did a fantastic job with this, though, so a rewrite isn't necessary. :)
Absolutely fantastic! Your descriptions gave enough detail so that I wasn't lacking in the least, and I loved how you used day-to-day things to create a realistic picture.