There was once a man that loved salad. He loved salad so much he went on a quest to become one. He journeyed far and wide, searching for something that would turn him into a salad, but alas, there was nothing. He quit this search for many years, when one day he found what he needed.
He researched for quite some time until he came across the logical location of the Salad God, Mount Caesar. The man just assumed the Salad God was there because the mountain had the same name as a type of salad. The journey was long and hard. He first had to make sure he had the money to even take the trip to he needed to Mount Caesar. He finally saved up enough money to get a one way ticket to New Hampshire, the homeland of Mount Caesar. He got to New Hampshire and got a ride to Mount Caesar, where he hiked to the top. The journey took a couple of hours, but he made it to the top. Waiting for him was the Salad God.
"Congratulations! You have found me! I shall now grant you one wish. What do you wish for?" the Salad God asked.
The man told the Salad God his wish, and the Salad God granted it. But the Salad God had a much more sinister plan. He turned the man into a salad, and then when the man realized his mistake, (that mistake being he forgot salads can't walk) he wanted to be turned back into a human, but the Salad God refused.
"You know what? I think I'm pretty hungry for a salad right about now." said the Salad God.
The Salad God picked up the salad and ate it. It was the best salad he had ever had. So the moral of the story is, don't wish to be a salad, because then A Salad God will turn you into a salad and eat you.