Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
The first line due its unique imagery, in fact that was the line that made me click on this piece because it seems pretty jarring with the title.
An expansion of the above comment: because what is it that she was trying to warn you about? Because I don't have much knowledge relating to Jesus and Sunday school etc.. it'd be great if you could leave a comment to let me know.
I love your description, specifically the visual and aural imagery. It's so good. I can literally imagine everything you're describing in my head because when you describe, you're showing me, unlike other writers who merely tell.
And when you describe the girl, are you talking about the wooden plank swings or those massive tyre ones?
Also the comments I added, please remember they're merely my opinion on how you could improve, I apologise if I've seemed harsh but I genuinely liked your piece. If you ever write a next chapter and I come across it I'll be sure to read it! Thank you for writing this piece!