Peer Review by Amyy (Australia)

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Water

By: AlaynaK


Underwater whether it be the ocean or a pool to me the feel of the cold refreshing water touching my skin is the greatest feeling I have ever felt. The loud sounds of the people above the water and as soon as I go under the surface I am surrounded by the silence of the water. Then in a pool when I open my eyes the blue color that surrounds me makes me feel serene and calm. This feeling makes me lose all troubles and concerns and I don't know any other feeling that makes me feel better.
 


Message to Readers

Please tell me what you think. I would like to get better at writing. Thank you!


Peer Review

touch


The description that is relatable to almost all readers (the serenity of water)


Reviewer Comments

This is only my opinion, but to enhance the sense of serene and calmness I'd add more commas to drag out the sentences, gave some examples above. I'm not sure about you but I personally would also describe how the water runs through your fingers when you drag it along the surface, since in my opinion, the best sense you describe is touch. Please know that this only my opinion and your work so far is brilliant!! Keep it up~~~