ollieollie

United States

Um......hi

Over the past year, I defeated a fear of other people, learned the value of clarity and brevity, fought writer's block, and developed pride in my words.

Now I am a writer with a love for onomatopoeias and an affinity for semicolons.

Message to Readers

Any idea on how to strengthen the character? I added a few things, but I don't know if it's quite there yet.

Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

The Kickboxer

August 18, 2017

    Her body was on fire. Every muscle burned a cry for help, for rest. She ignored it.
​    Coach was yelling. She jabbed the bag before her, hoping not to attract attention. Sweat flew from her face, landing in front of her and creating a mural of effort and pain. The sound of fists produced a symphony; the beating of a thousand drums.
​    She felt a dreaded presence behind her. "Beat that thing to hell!"
​    Two jabs and a hook, glove pounding canvas.
    "You're weak!"
    Legs dancing; muscles straining.
    "Come on! Kick!"
    Wham!
    "Kick!"
    Wham!
    "Kick!"
    Collapse.

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1 Comment
  • Aaliyah

    This piece has got spirit, fire, and points of interest. Don't be afraid to write and share. I used to be like that, but it ultimately robs you of opportunities, but doesn't help you. Good work, and good luck!


    almost 3 years ago