ollieollie

United States

Um......hi

Over the past year, I defeated a fear of other people, learned the value of clarity and brevity, fought writer's block, and developed pride in my words.

Now I am a writer with a love for onomatopoeias and an affinity for semicolons.

Message to Readers

I wrote these almost two years ago, at the end of my 8th grade year. I came across them recently, and wanted to make them better. However, because they are actually memories of mine, revising them was almost impossible. I know that the writing is very unpolished, and I would be grateful for any input you have to offer. Putting it plainly, I am asking for your help.
Thank you!

A Memory - 8 of 10

July 31, 2017

FREE WRITING

0
    Another Thursday. The six teenagers were walking down the shaded sidewalk, with Ally trailing behind. When Claire asked what she was doing, she said that she was texting her mom. Nobody gave it a second thought, and they all continued with their conversation. They reached to corner where they all split up. Then Ally stepped off the curb.
    After-school parents are not pleasant. They are all frustrated from the traffic, and often are only half paying attention to the road in front of them. Which was why every seasoned student knew to be extra cautious when crossing streets within a four block radius of their school, and why Dominik and Grace stopped at the corner. Ally, however, was too absorbed in her phone to notice the green four-door coming straight at her.
    Grace was the first to notice, and screamed a desperate, “Ally, look out!” Ally looked up a second too late. She only had the time to give the car a wide eyed glance before she was yanked back by her backpack. The car shot past, the driver not even looking up from her purse. She looked behind her to see Simon still gripping her backpack.
    “Simon,” she said. “You saved my life.”
    He only looked at her and said, “yeah, well, don’t look too much into it.”
 

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  • July 31, 2017 - 12:57am (Now Viewing)

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