ollieollie

United States of America

Um......hi

Over the past year, I defeated a fear of other people, learned the value of clarity and brevity, fought writer's block, and developed pride in my words.

Now I am a writer with a love for onomatopoeias and an affinity for semicolons.

Message to Readers

I wrote these almost two years ago, at the end of my 8th grade year. I came across them recently, and wanted to make them better. However, because they are actually memories of mine, revising them was almost impossible. I know that the writing is very unpolished, and I would be grateful for any input you have to offer. Putting it plainly, I am asking for your help.
Thank you!

A Memory - 1 of 10

July 31, 2017

FREE WRITING

1
    Two figures were walking up the hallway. One was a tall, blonde boy. The other was a girl half his height with long, wavy hair that hung down to her lower back. They were engrossed in what appeared to be a very animated conversation.
    The late autumn wind was rarely crisp in Southern California, but today it carried a slight chill as a group of teenagers waited outside of room 36. Their English teacher was late, and the students were talking amiably as they waited for her to come with her impressively cluttered key ring. Everyone was friendly with each other, but stayed loyal to the group that they were closest with.
    As the pair approached, a group of two boys and three girls noticed and started laughing. The loudest was the shorter boy with pale skin and dark hair.
    “Hey Vince! Looks like you finally got yourself a girlfriend!”
    One of the girls doubled over in a burst of laughter. Her blonde hair fell in front of her face as she continued the shorter boy’s comment.
    “Dude, how’d you manage this one? Sabree, you know you can do better!”
    The remaining boy and the two girls neglected to say anything, instead choosing to try and suppress the grins that were smeared across their faces. They watched as Sabree waved goodbye to the boy and walked past their little group to join a cluster of girls near the back of the line. Vince came and melded into his group of friends, all of whom were still smirking. The shorter boy elbowed the tall blonde.
    “So Vince. We all knew you had a thing for Sabree, but you really put the move on her today. What are you guys gonna do? A movie? Dinner? Maybe you’ll take her back to your place and then…”
    “Shut up Dom.” Vince let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t see why you guys have to do this every single day. I told you – Sabree and I have the same Spanish class.”
    “Oh come on,” said one of the girls. She was the tallest of the trio, and had jet black hair that was wound into a twist. “You need to let us have a little fun.”
    “Ally’s right,” said the last of the three girls. She was the shortest of the group, and had hair that was cropped to hang just past her jawline. “You’re just an easy target. It would be a crime against the universe to let such an opportunity slip by.”
    Vince was about to retort something offensive when their teacher walked up. A woman in her early thirties, she was easily their favorite and most respected teacher. She looked at the six 8th graders as she tried to find the correct key, which was lost in a jumble of keychains, lanyards, and other keys. She took note of each of their expressions, of which all but Vince’s were relaxed and merry. She smiled.
    “Were you guys teasing Vincent about his crush on Sabree again?”
    The five other members of the group were nearly dying of hysteric laughter as the teacher waved them inside. The blonde haired girl was wiping tears from her eyes as she sat down, and all of them watched as Vince sulked down into his desk.
    “You guys suck.”
 

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  • July 31, 2017 - 12:49am (Now Viewing)

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