Peer Review by Vanilla (India)

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Sixty Degrees in July

By: marlowen

Everything is dust. The sky is a giant ball of the kind that collects under your bed after you don’t vacuum for 3 weeks.

It doesn't rain until 6.

If it’s going to be this cloudy and 60 degrees in July then just make it downpour at least so that the lightning can strike every tree behind my house to create a firestorm and so I can run outside and catch 10,000 colds by rolling in every puddle in the street. I can feel the pebbles grazing my elbows, like thunder does the sky. The rain kisses my scars; a mother with smooth mint chap stick lips.

​The drops ricochet like micro bullets off of the ground, but only get so far before falling again. Back onto school bus yellow rain boots now muddied. There are no thin patches in the sky, only one shade of gray tossed over like a tablecloth.

​Then the smog rolls in, and everything smells like Aunt Theo's cigarettes and mildew, and the way water tastes; nourishing and refreshing. Like the precipitation that forms on the outside of your glass of lemonade with the odor of car grease and the clink and crack of opened beers.

​Please, rain, don't hurt the clouds of monarchs who'll fly soon. I don't want to pick them off of the ground like daisies and feel sick when my uncle frames them in his office; they're supposed to return to the sun.

Peer Review

I think it has to be the visual. There is plenty of easy imagery, like a giant ball under your bed, raindrops ricocheting, grey sky tossed over like a tablecloth, it was very different and very striking and yet conjured up a clear image in my mind!

Most of the comparisons that the writer has made are relatable, but rarely noticed. I feel as if I can see the perspective, see the grey, uniform sky, the ricocheting drops, the smell of mildew. It certainly transports me a rainy day.

Reviewer Comments

This piece is really nostalgic and imaginative and interesting! The writer has compared a rainy day to the smells and sights of his memories, which is amazing to read! I love that your descriptions are so unique, I don't think I would have read another piece like this.
Keep writing!