Peer Review by Swasti (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


Magic in the World

By: Suit of Swords


FREE WRITING

    There is Magic in the World. There always is, always has been. Children are the most sensitive to this Magic, and as children, we were all exposed to this. As we grow up, we lose this piece of magic bit by bit, and as adults, we can barely have it anymore. others get lucky and a larger portion. This Magic is the one that gave life to our toys, the one that gave us our imaginary friends. This Magic gives us life. This Magic is the reason why we love, why we hope.
    
    In this time and age, we are about to lose it, slowly, one by one. This world has become dangerous.People are always fighting, may it be for petty reasons or large ones. there is too much pollution, too few care for the world anymore. Remember, this world is our home. It is the source of that Magic. Now, our home needs our help, we need to show that we still have Magic. That we still care. Show your love to everyone you meet, to the stranger down the street, to the neighbors you barely see. Show it to your friends, to your family. Show them that there is still hope. We still have hope. We love the world that we call home. We love the people who live in our world. We still care.

    Maybe it's not much, but this Magic will do. No matter what race, no matter the religion, or the gender of the person, we all CARE for each other. We all LOVE each other. Shout it out to the world; this Magic is inside us, and it will stay with us forever.


Message to Readers

Constructive criticism is welcome. I'm just a beginner, and this is a piece of rushed work. i hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it


Peer Review

"Show them that there is still hope. " I love the sheer optimism present in this line. It really is exemplary of a unique writing style - as seen by the short sentence structure. The word 'show' also adds to the creative aspect of the piece as it gives a sudden urge and vitality to the magic/hope present in the line.


After reading this piece, I feel as if there is actually an ethereal presence in my life that remains untouched. I have always believed in the mysteries of the universe especially the magical ones- but never seemed to acknowledge them in the creative way you have. Thank you for making the reader feel an epiphany of magic just by reading your piece.


Do you still believe this Magic will be enlivened for the rest of your life, taking into account the fate of mankind?


Reviewer Comments

This piece has so much raw power in regard to the sheer liberalism of ideas present as well as forceful word choice. There are very few pieces that urge readers to think so deeply about a largely disregarded notion -- and this is one of them. The only thing I would consider adding is more substance to the piece such as logical appeal (logos) since you already have ample of rhetoric. Overall, this piece really and truly delves into our fantasized viewpoints of magic and brings some light to the issue. Please keep writing!