Peer Review by AbigailSauble (United States)

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By: caswin1


I bit my tongue in concentration as my fingers whirred over my keys. I was doing my favorite thing in the world; writing. I was in the middle of an epic brawl between my hero and the villain, and I couldn't have been happier with the way it was turning out. I had made the villain's motives relatable, so the hero would have trouble wanting to defeat him, but reckless enough that he had to. I had crafted his reluctant stance expertly, and everything was perfect. I was in the zone. The words were flying across the page. The ferocious bellow of my empty stomach snapped me back into reality. I had not eaten anything all day. I resisted the urge as long as I could, but my stomach finally won out, and I left my computer for a snack. 
I sprinted back into the room a few minutes later, sandwich in hand, ready to continue. I looked back over my last sentence to remind myself where I was, but something was wrong. I didn't remember writing this sentence! It had nothing to do with the fight at all! I deleted the line, and looked at the line before it. Again, I didn't remember writing it! I worked my way back through my story, deleting line after line, with no memory of writing them. Suddenly, I could hear heavy footsteps approaching to my rear. I turned around slowly to see the villain of my story standing right behind me! I couldn't make a sound, I couldn't even breath. What on Earth??? I finally managed to say,
He said back to me
"I am just here to inform you that I am leaving. I didn't like how your story was going. I was afraid you were going to kill me. I couldn't let that happen."
It's true, I was going to kill him, but I wasn't going to tell him that. He turned his back and headed toward the door. 
I called out before I thought it through. My story was lost without him, I needed him back! 
"Do you have any idea how important you are to this story? You are a key character! Do you really want to give that up?"
He rolled his eyes.
"Yes, I am a main character. The problem is, everything I do gets cast in a bad light."
Again, he had a good point.
I began, not sure where I was going with this.
"Not everyone sees it in a bad light! Personally, I agree with you! I think it was very noble of you to kill all the unicorns to make the vaccine!"
"Really?" He said
"No!" I thought, but I said the opposite.
"So, you agree with my motives?"
"Definitely!" I said, hating myself for lying. The villain began walking toward the computer. I could barely wait until he got in, partially because I wanted to kill him and finish my story, but also so that he would never come out of my story and scare me again. He stood next to me, looking into the computer. He looked at me, and grabbed my hand in appreciation. Then he smiled, but not a good smile. I tried to pull my hand away, but he held fast. It only took a moment for him to through me into the computer. I looked around, and saw the world I had depicted in perfect detail. Of coarse it was detailed, it was the world. I saw my hero off in the distance. He was perfect, just how I had described him too! I was so excited to meet him! I waved to him, and he headed toward me. That is when I noticed my clothes, and terror set in. I was the villain. I was going to die. I looked back toward screen I had been thrown through, just in time to see the real villain sit down at my keyboard.

True story! (Not...)
Thank you so much for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it!
I always appreciate a comment, a like or a peer review on any of my pieces! Thank you so much in advance!

Message to Readers

I LOOOOVE it when you give me peer reviews! I always work really hard on my pieces, and I always adore knowing what you think!

Peer Review

"It only took a moment for him to through me into the computer." - Because it's so bizarre and unreal, and it's a very interesting read!

A bit of laughter, un-realism, and interest!

What was your inspiration?

Reviewer Comments

Excellent job on this composition! I love it to bits! :D You are going to continue with this, I hope! Will the author get out of the computer in time to save her story? Or will the villain win? Honestly, though, the first part to this story, before (and while) the author got a snack is totally me! I'll get into writing a story, and my adrenaline will be racing, my attention set, then reality hits. ;) I also get that way when I'm reading really interesting books.
Again. Great job! Keep up the good work! God bless!