Peer Review by Atalanta (Canada)

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​Summer Nights

By: killemwithkindness


PROMPT: Turned to Stone

It was a late night in the thick of the hottest summer England had had in years. As I sat sweltering on the porch in the purest moonlight, I noticed a girl walking down the street, her long curly hair bouncing and her white dress snug against her small body. It was Jade Simmons, my best girlfriend from secondary school. She floated down by street like a saint in one of my Nan's prayer candles. I sat there, shocked, my mouth dry, my tongue like a dead whale in my mouth.
Jade Simmons had gone missing three years ago. We’d all thought her dead.
She looked up at me, as if by chance.
“Hello, Nancy,” she said, smiling eerily. Her teeth were yellowed and missing, her eyes wild. “Mind if I come in?”


Peer Review

I'd say it is about a missing girl, mysteriously coming back to the narrator.


The eeriness of it.


"She looked up at me, as if by chance. " It both makes it obvious that it wasn't by chance, and shows the girl's behaviour, which adds to the mysterious, almost frightening element of the mystery.


It seems to carry a tone of, for lack of better words, "This shouldn't be happening" a sense of wrongness is created so that you feel near uncomfortable, but are so hooked in that you can't tear your eyes away. The author did an excellent job of making you want to keep reading.


The urge to read more!


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