Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Please comment on whether this sounded like a male talking. I'm not too god a writing a male character, so I'd really appreciate comments on that. And I'd really like to comment on the flow, the descriptions, the characters, and if you could piece the story from the subtle hints without getting the whole backstory. And whether if you liked the subtle hints instead of infodumping like some popular novels do.
The line about him working harder. A very guyish thing to say.
I am wondering what sort of wierdo scientists these were, and what they were trying to do.
Why is kelly linked to a hurricane?
Sorry it took so long for someone to do a review on this, I just now saw it, looking all the way back to page 19 of things "seeking reviews." You asked about your male narrative voice, and, as I am a male, I feel specially qualified to quench your curiosity. (lol)
I thought that both his vocal words and his thinking words reflected a guy very well. Reading his words, he seems like a professional, but not a dried-up scholar. He knows what family is about, but he also knows his duty. And he can get angry without getting out of hand. Willing to listen. Understands.