Beware, for it’s in Wonderland you step, faces lit while the conjugation of a thousand words grace your ears, as I take deep, calming breaths...
Pray tell, what do you see in me, as I stand up here and berate you all with thoughts of melancholy and my mind’s downfall. I ask of you, what do you see in me, do you see the years of elation,
a child’s dream come true as I dance in fields of tulips
Emotions not yet forced into a prepubescent probation
Let’s take a trip through the mind of a girl twice forgotten,
Pain rising as feelings are brought to light
As 3 years of hiding are now diminished as I tell you myself
In my sight
I see a girl who was taught to hate herself, was taught to find the unique parts of herself insane
Taught to find her feelings and bottle them think nothing of them but vile things; vain
I see a girl who let out her emotions through the volatile skills of art, of poetry that lies in her back closet because - let’s face it - she was never the Edgar Allen Poe
Never the Shakespeare she studied for hours on end at home
I see the teasing she was taught to ignore, believe that boys made fun of her because they ‘liked’ her.
I see the lives of those she was forced into, see the months on end she stuck with the ones she called friends
The ones that got her through the pain and the pretence…
Until finally we’re here
Why would I bring myself to light, if not to draw attention to myself, look for those who’ll care?
God, why couldn’t I be like everyone else and pick a simple topic, one we can get lost in, one that requires no thought, no concentration?
Something simple, easy to share.
I speak my mind,
Even if my thoughts,
Now upturned are shown to be disgusting
I dare the society that has shamed me, called me weak.
I force questions into heads of the unsuspecting, my words coming out in a mess of syllables, yet lingering just long enough to leave you wondering.