Imperfect “I’m perfect”
I am different
I will shout and scream and rage and determine whether or not how far I wish to run. away.
Minuets, miles, seconds, inches of unacknowledged difference in the worlds of space and calculated seconds.
And yet in this small existance I am yet to learn to loathe or to love.
Told hate the pure speculation of myself but am denied the satisfaction of loving it.
Spoonfed expectations in grocery store tabloids and highway billboards that are reaching towards my wavering willpower.
I am different.
I will paint and color my face in a picture of perfect anger towards those who decide that their words are better than mine.
They decide what happens to me as if my body is clay and my face an easel.
The light is captured in my eyes they say.
My figure is almost, nearly perfect they say.
My personality is enough they say.
But I remember I walk the line of brutal reality.
And their lies lay in the darkened hands of fake confidence later crushed by unaltered honesty.
The bags under my eyes are from nights of work on something far more beautiful than I.
Why are my decisions, my sincere individuality shunned by their arrogant minds.
Why is my mind wired to share and spread what I do not have.
Why can I not be heard, unless it is melancholy ignorance that receives my pleads.
I am different.
It isn’t a cry for attention.
It isn’t me purely wanting to revel in disapproval and angst.
It isn’t me wanting your approval.
It is me trying to be myself and share it.
It is me spreading awareness of something I am proud of.
But that is seen as narcissistic
That is wrong.
Wrong and right, right and wrong.
I will never be shoved into a mold because I am not cool, popular, liked and praised.
I am not a cliche often forced upon me as a person who values optimism above pessimism that is viewed as a social norm.
I cannot be normal because normal people don’t have real friendships or lives of their own.
I may never have my happily ever after as a person who so seems to crave it.
But I will write a story simply titled:
I am imperfect
And I am perfect.