Sarah Cross

United States

Message to Readers

I hope you get something from this and if not thank you still for reading.

DEAD LEAVES INTERFERE WITH MY SPRING

April 15, 2017



I want to fly
Jump 
Soar
Touch people with my words 

"Don't go"

I said 
But only in my head

"Why did you leave?"
"Why did you quit?"

What is the truth?
Do I want it?

"Forget her"

But I can't

Do I want the answers?
Or do I want nothing but hesitation?

Sing me a song
That reminds me where I belong 
Soft golden field 
With yellow grass

Big tree
A swing
And laughter that can make any tragedy seem beautiful 

But we are lonely 
Searching for home
The paradise that never exists 

I jump for the crane
But land in the ocean

Do I want the answers?

I say I know 
I know who I know 
I know my friends 

But do I?

Did I ever know them?

Maybe I know the answer
But maybe
I don't want it

You who saw me
Do you see me?

Does burning a paper crane mean something?

The day I slumped in a stall
The day I was swallowed by the black hole
I threw away a crane 
I wanted nothing more than to go 
Go somewhere nice 
Where people don't leave without saying goodbye 

But I survived 
Winter is no more
It's gone

But even in the field
Even with goodbyes 
The pain hurts 
Just as much

Blow out my candles
Let's sing happy birthday 

I hate attention 
Don't look at me

I miss you
I miss you paradise
My home away from home

It's not the same anymore

Let's run away
Fly away

Can I fly?
Or will I fall?
Deep
Deep
Into the ocean

I've fallen so many times
Yet I'm still scared to fall

I miss you
I miss you paradise
My home away from home

Sing me a song

Maybe I'll remember the time of the field
And maybe it won't just be a dream

There are so many maybes 

I opened the stall
Finally 
But the warmth is gone
We're both cold now

I miss you
My home away from home

Why don't you see me?

My paper crane
The red one
That I could never burn
You flew away
And bloomed 
But I can't seem to find my spring
I can't seem to let go

It was like old times

And I thought 
"If only everyday could be like this"

But you know the past is the past
I guess

The loneliness 
Grasps for my heart
The ache of what can't be anymore
chases me
Consumes me

I miss you 
I miss you paradise
My home away from home

"But I'll email you, right?"

Yeah
With the resolve in your eyes
I find a new hope

"Why did you leave me?"

I don't have an answer for that one
Maybe I won't 

"Why did you quit?"

I'm not gonna ask
I don't need to
I know who you are 

You said goodbye
But it was more like
A see you later

Ah my field 
The golden field 
New and old faces 
My friends 

The paper crane I fold in my heart is huge
Thanks to all my connections 
But mostly because
I chose to focus on above
instead of earthly things

"We'll be in full bloom at the end of these hardships."

Yeah we sure will

I miss you paradise
My home away from home
But winter is long gone
Autumn can't be my home 
Spring has begun in me

I think I can fly

I may see you
In a certain hall
But I can't linger any longer
Or I'll fall

Is this goodbye finally?

Maybe

I like spring because that's when things begin to bloom
My bubbling anger is turning into something new
A flower of forgiveness 
How cool

 
The quote, "We'all be in full bloom at the end of these hardships." Is from the song So far Away by Suga (Agust D)

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