Peer Review by lightwormtrash (United States)

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Anxiety

By: Sarah Feng


FREE WRITING

Previously published in Moledro Magazine, March 2017.

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make sure you    remember     to     floss daily,    rinse        your     mouth        with 
    honey &    graffiti the        lead into the side of your hand,
make sure you remember     to     pluck the     mushrooms    as they grow,         before         they turn fleshy with        mold, before you         shrivel and    the black 
    digits on that         online competition         are not    high        enough for 
    you to         pinch and     duck inside the vessel,
make sure you remember    to    plump your toes     until they are dumplings, 
    because if    you don’t, mama will be mad and yourspinewilldripand wilt,
    Don’t make me take you to the doctor’s again, 
    I don’t have that kind of time,
make sure you remember to do your calculus    and    write that submission     for that
    literary magazine     and     redcircleno,redcircleyes    your feet are 
    sinking into the     spongy moss    
make sure you remember to
    why didn’t you?    WHY DIDN’T YOU?    molecules swim   backstroke    in the
    pixels ,  molars           lacquered      with    the lead,
             peel back the mushrooms until they drop into the barrel of the gun
            makesureyouremember, MAKESURE
            

                    


Message to Readers

any kind of feedback would be lovely! :)


Peer Review

I have many, but probably the one I loved the most was, "make sure you remember to floss daily, rinse your mouth with honey & graffiti the lead into the side of your hand". The imagery in this entire poem is so vivid and real.


This poem is so accurate of what anxiety feels like, and the structure of it amplifies that. The staccato-like writing in this piece stays true to anxiety/anxiety attacks and doesn't romanticize it like a lot of pieces of literature, tv shows and movies do. This poem makes me feel every panic-filled thought, the expansive paranoia, and constant thoughts rushing through the head of the protagonist- I emphasize with them and that's what makes this piece so powerful.


How did you come up with such a brilliant poem?


Reviewer Comments

This is brilliant because of the structure, the diversity of language and ideas and most of all, the powerful message behind this poem is beautifully executed.