Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
The characters, the flow, the dialogue, how you felt reading the story. I think I'm trying to work on making the characters more complex too, so tell me how complex you think they are. And of course, tell me how you felt because I really love when people give their opinions on my story, good or bad. :)
I'd say this piece is about a woman who has lunch with the Devil, who forces her to choose between her fiancee and her ex.
Honestly I love the way you handle dialogue. It's very well done. And that's not an easy thing to do!
The ending. Now, I'm pretty sure I see what you're trying to do, thematically: you're trying to write a piece where what is commonly said as being "from the devil" (gay marriage) is flipped and turns out to be a good thing. But that doesn't end up making much sense here. Because why would an angel disguise itself as a devil only to offer a malicious dilemma? And in a world where the devil and hell clearly exist, isn't it in people's best interest to act to avoid hell no matter what?
Overall, I'd say this is pretty good! The characters are about as well-developed as you can expect them to be in a story this short, although it's never quite clear why the devil has such a personal interest in this woman. Your dialogue is really good, and the story flows nicely. And I felt carried along and invested until the very end, where I just became confused. Watch out for tense switches, but overall, nice story!