Peer Review by Ash (United States)

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Me? You?

By: Phoebe


PROMPT: Polar Opposite

We sit back to back, waiting for the world to end. To consume us. Every day, every night, every second. We cannot ever to be separated.

I never see you, but I know who you are. But do you know who I am?

“You’re shivering." Her back twitched again, perhaps out of fear. That was probably the case. After all, who wouldn't be afraid of me?

The skies are simply a hole, waiting for us to be sucked inside. I know my end, and am I not afraid. I am not afraid of what I will become, because I know what I was. But that girl, has no such conviction. No firm belief in anything. This is why I will be the winner.

“I’m not cold. You're too hot." She said those mere words followed by  a slight twitch. I smirked. It was true, probably. When she was cold, I was hot. When I was cold, she was hot. We were made to mirror each other, follow the opposite of each other's movements.

When I wanted to talk, she would keep her mouth zipped. That is how our long stretches of silence begin.

Until one of us speaks again.

“Why do you like to be so full of hate? Why do you want to spit that hate at me?" Her voice sounded raspy. Her back shook once more, as her breath heaved. I merely blinked.

Sometimes she made no sense. “Don’t lie and says it's not recuperated. I know you, just as you know me, or not yet." It was slightly funny how someone could look inside themselves and yet see nothing.

She let out a strangled noise. "What does that even mean? I don't know you at all! I've been tied to you for so long. I can't even fathom why this fate was placed upon me."

I merely kicked against the empty wind that blew upon us. I did not need to entertain her idiocy.

She then clicked her tongue. "What? Not going to talk? Usually you're the one who wants to talk. I guess you just didn't spout out more nonsense than usual."

I merely closed my eyes, until my body swung forward until I gripped the chair. I narrowed my eyes. Oh? She wanted to play? I chuckled.

"You think you're clever. You think you're so clever. You don't know anything!" I shoved my back against hers, earning a gasp. A shock ran up my spine, making me smile. I needed to lash out more. Injure her more.

I let out a harsh laugh. "We're an exact mirror of each other. But you know what? Mirrors, mirror each other if you didn't know. If I lash back, you lash at me. You are my mirror as I am yours!" My voice boomed through the empty space only leaving her back wracking against mine.

I smiled, crossing my legs. Now that was a nice discussion.

 



Message to Readers

How you feel about the piece, the characters, the story, grammar, etc. I really appreciated the feedback from last time! :)


Peer Review

When they comment on how 'that was a nice discussion.' You get a really vivid image of the character: mainly, they're a jerk. The narrator is quick-tempered, smug, and condescending.


When you first outright state that the narrator and the other girl were made to mirror each other, I knew I had to keep reading: you did a good job subtly introducing the concept in the previous paragraph before bringing it to the forefront.
If you continued this piece, I'd really like to see the polar opposite have some more positive traits. It'd be neat to see how you'd work that in.


Reviewer Comments

I really like how you ran with the mirrored image concept. After all, that's basically what your polar opposite is anyways. Nice job!