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Message to Readers
Any feedback is awesome! Thanks for taking the time to read it!
I loved the line about what happens when your wall vanishes. Some really great imagery there. And I loved the first paragraph... it's a really interesting way of setting up the scene. In addition, this concept of "the Shadow" is very cool.
Terror. It feels that people live out their lives in utter and abject terror, waiting for the next night, waiting to see if they'll live out that horror.
There are a lot of things I'm confused about. What exactly is the Shadow... not the mechanism behind it, but how does it manifest in people's lives? What are these walls? What does the city LOOK like? How is it constructed? How does this society function, with catastrophe occurring every night? Is there infrastructure? Are there buildings? How do you escape the shadow?
Okay, here's the thing. You've written something is SO COOL. But I want/need so much more. Like, this city has such an interesting dynamic! But I have no idea what it looks like. All I know is that there are walls that people huddle behind at night and that it's on top of a mountain. You've showed an ability to write good imagery... use it on the city! And some elements of how you describe the Shadow are confusing and seem contradictory, which I think takes away from the power of your otherwise vivid and gripping description of these people's terror and of the story of this family. This city seems so cool and I want to know much more... show me!