Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
I want your honest opinions. Don't spare my feelings; this needs work. Please keep your comments short, clean, and to the point.
"I look back at him as I exit the train..."
Sure, she flirted with him, but she's still focused on the task at hand. She's described very much in the manner of a "girly girl," but she's still goal-oriented and driven.
First off, you listed how your polar opposite would be applying as a social worker. I really liked how you not only avoided the common idea of "my opposite would be a complete jerk!" and ran in the opposite direction. But then you make her more real: she's a flirt. Furthermore as we learn from the end of the story, she doesn't think ahead. She has flaws and virtues and I applaud you for doing that.
I just have one problem with your story: why doesn't the man just seduce her off to someplace quiet and then kidnap her instead of going through the trouble of the creating a sick mother? From the perspective of the kidnapper, wouldn't that be easier? Is there some reason he has to use the pretense of a sick mother?
I really love this story, and honestly, it doesn't need that much word. Some grammar issues and word replacements and a minor rewrite and you should be good to go. Your plot is good and so is your character. She doesn't feel flat. She's a saint, a seductress, an overly-prepared slightly nervous adult, and a bit clueless: in short, she's a real person.