Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
The topic itself is currently one that is very heated and constantly up for discussion. The introduction is a little simplistic however the story of Bregg draws the reader in.
The main argument here is that as long as there is no hormonal advantage, transgender athletes should be able to compete with the gender they identify with.
The statistic, by far. The statistic is what is heavily written in the paper, and draws the reader in.
I think adding an emotional pull would really strengthen the piece. The best kinds of writing are those which have a balanced blend of statistics and logistics and the more emotional parts. Maybe talk more about what it is like for Breggs to be forced to participate in a way which invalidates his identity.
This is an amazing start! You have a lot of strong information that reads well and is most often clearly stated and woven together. There is a substantial amount of tangible proof and examples which really creates a solid logical argument.
I suggest weaving additional stories of trans athletes into your Op-Ed. How many are there? Is this a common occurrence? A bulk of your Op-Ed is regulation, and is some times repetitive. I feel adding more depth to your stance through appealing to the emotions of your reader, and talking about what it means to transgender student athletes could help retain the length, and cut back on repetition.
I also suggest looking into adding transitional phrases at the beginnings of your paragraphs. While what you have works well, when read there are parts where it may come off as a little bland. I suggest reading it out loud to yourself, and maybe even pretending that you are giving it as a speech. Ask yourself "what should I add here so that the words flow better."
If you have any other questions feel free to message me! Overall I really love your piece