Peer Review by David M. (United States)

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Just a speck of dust

By: Alexis

I am an original work of art, but so is the rest of the world. Handcrafted by a God who has carved us into a nation with the whip of his hand and a thought in his mind. I am a speck of dust, nowhere near perfect. Compared to the world I am in, theirs so much more to life than me. This world is a playground with many obstacles and the only way to get noticed is through an act of greatness, but that's not what really matters. You see, life is not a game, but people make it one. A constant competition to be the greatest in life and that's how they get nowhere. I on the other hand am given the privilege to live a blessed life with a wonderful family and amazing people in my life and yet that still doesn't matter. Again, the world doesnt revolve around a self-centered teenager who thinks she knows the world, but in fact is the complete opposite. The world is composed of matter created by someone who is so much more than anything you can think of. 

Peer Review

The sheer boldness and bravery in saying "I am just a speck of dust." It's a powerful statement and is hard to say about yourself! You definitely have a lot of self-awareness about who you are and what you consider to be your place in the world.

Definitely the sense of being self-centered and struggling to overcome that very natural tendency.

A scene would definitely strengthen this piece. It's a bit short as is, and sort of loops around in a circle. Putting a scene in the middle would help us identify with who YOU are and how you came to this realization or how it affects your daily life, and that would really help solidify your piece and ground it in real life.

I think tying the personal aspect of this piece in at the end would make it very powerful... especially if you were able to reference a scene that you've described for us.

Reviewer Comments

You've written a very courageous piece! Statements like these are not easy statements to make, and yet you boldly write them out. The piece certainly could use a bit of work -- expanding it out, incorporating a scene from your life, clearing up some confusing sentences and phrases -- but overall I applaud the work you've done on this piece.