Written By: Marisol Munoz
July 15, 2015
White, all I see is white, a plain white piece of canvas. It is dead with no life, just waiting for a spark of hope. I grab soft yet rough brush and dip into pastel red. The smell of acrylic burns through my nostrils, but makes me feel at home as I make one streak here, another one there — a tint of violet there and a shade of jade green here. I step back, gasp, and admire what I’ve done. I admire my quality of being artistic.
It wasn’t until junior year when I discovered that I was an artistic person. I have a mind that is bursting with ideas and creativity. I took art for beginners at the start of my junior year. Throughout the year, I discovered all this potential I had in myself. Drawing and painting came easily to me. It was a hidden treasure that I still continue to explore. It opened up a whole new world for me.
During that year, I was going through a lot of obstacles that affected me emotionally. I had problems learning how to accept myself and how to accept my body image. I had self-esteem and self-confidence that had sunk lower than the Titanic ship. I was going through a mental breakdown. Thoughts of being useless, worthless, and not good enough kicked in. I felt helpless and hopeless. I was a victim of my own mind. On the other hand, I also had a bunch of family issues going on, too. For example, I had an uncle who was using illegal drugs, my Tia Luz had passed away, and worst of all, my family was going through a severe economic depression. I struggled a lot that year, but this gem that I had unearthed helped me cope with a lot of problems I was going through.
Drawing and painting are liberating for me. These are activities that provide a means in which I can express my emotions by just picking up a pencil and blank piece of paper. These are my brain children that I can nurture and cause to thrive. I protect them. I give them sustenance. I give them the life of green, the boldness of red, the royalty of violet, and the freedom of blue. I give them the fear of black and the wholesomeness of white. My brushes stand tall and strong as sentinels to guard my brain children. The stained brushes that create oceans of amazing art work mesmerize me as they become alive and control my every movement. These are all elements of art that I enjoy and that make me feel at peace.
Being artistic shaped me a lot in becoming a better person. Art has helped me develop new strategies in accomplishing my work. I am able to visualize projects in any class and breakdown the steps to accomplish them. Art helps me learn how to use a limited amount of resources to create an outstanding work of art. Art has also helped me become a better person emotionally during rough times and struggles that I’ve had. Just having my emotions drawn or painted helped me become much more of a happier person. By being able to draw all the pain, anxiety, and sadness I feel, and not keeping them in, prevents me from not damaging my soul and becoming an angry kid filled with hate.
Being artistic plays a big role in my future. Being artistic will also help me a lot in college, as well, when doing projects. It will allow me to think outside the box and create amazing projects with my skills and imagination. Later on in life, I will also come across obstacles that will bring me down, but being able to draw and express myself will help me emotionally. I have lived in a spectrum of grey for a really long time, but now my eyes see life with color.