Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
If there's a better way I could be setting the scene, please let me know and I'll give it a shot
There is really one primary description, that the city is made of amber. It's really a gorgeous image... imagining the blurred shape of people moving behind the flawless glowing walls of an entire city.
Very wistful. It's a city focused on beauty that is remote and hard to reach and somehow preserved. Things get preserved in amber... and the main point of this city seems to be to preserve its own beauty.
Why does it exist? How does it exist? Who made it? Why doesn't the main character try to enter? What is it like to live there?
This is a really cool image! The whole piece seems dedicated to delivering one image, that of a city shaped of amber. And the second-person narrative is a cool device for delivering that. That said, there isn't very much narrative. This isn't surprising; it's a piece focused on image. But if you're going to have so much narrative framing one image, I think you need some more detail, some more description, some more images and perspectives of this city made of amber. I marked some spots where I think you could use more imagery as well as some grammar and phrasing things. But overall, you've imagined a very cool image and delivered it well with some very cool imagery!