Peer Review by Ash (United States)

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By: Tacita

Vivified Cities - Olinda

Olinda is old. Theoretically, there was a time when it did not exist, but privately many people, particularly the residents themselves, doubt that such a time existed. Always there, decaying. The houses crumble, the streets and sidewalks crack, the trees that were planted in a feeble beautification initiative wither in the hard-packed soil. It is not possible to find a “border” for at the edges Olinda fades to nothing.

Olinda is young. In the crumbling houses, citizens gather for marriages, births, deaths, meals, for any reason at all, because they are here. On the cracked streets and sidewalks they meander, they rush and they stride, in all directions but inevitably to the city center. Tiny sparkling brilliant flowers grow from the smooth soil, increasing in frequency the farther into the city you go. Maybe it is the residents' prayers, their kind words and well wishes, which cause the flowers to grow. 

Peer Review

I like when you describe the flowers at the end of the piece. It's nice that you end your piece on a hopeful, beautiful note.

It's complicated. The city's depressing, old, and dying, but somehow it's also enduring, bustling, and beautiful.

I'd really like to see a story in this setting. You have a very complex setting and it would be nice to see how a resident of Olinda interacts with the city.

Reviewer Comments

I enjoy the formatting you decided to use. Just a few errors here and there, but I want to definitely see you write a story with this setting in the future.