Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Here is my third revision of this prologue. Please give me honest tips so that I can make it better :)
"Fat rain drops were like needles on her soft skin and she could feel cold fear slowly start to grip her heart. Her breathing and the beat of her heart began to quicken." This Sentence stand out the most to me because it really catches the attention and holds it, almost like the fear is gripping your heart too!
Honestly, the feeling I am left with is awe, and wondering what's next! I just want more!
The question I would ask this Author would be, why is she so happy at first?
This piece of work is really eye catching, the sentences are usually really clear and crisp, the grammar is very well done, and this author has got talent! Keep writing and great job!