I'm a Christian, a musician, an introvert, a singer, and a perfectionist. I love math, I love to read, I love classical music, and I love to learn.
Here is my third revision of this prologue. Please give me honest tips so that I can make it better :)
Written By: Katie R. Goates
July 18, 2015
A tan-skinned girl ran her hand over her curly, light brown hair. She tip-toed quietly down the sandy beach, a smile on her lips. The girl carefully stepped around coarse patches of grass, making sure they didn’t jab her bare feet. She scaned the beach for a smooth place to lay out her blanket. Finding a good spot, she laid back and closed her eyes, listening contently to the sound of water lapping against the shore and crickets chirping.
A shadow over the moon made her open them again. High up in the sky an owl hooted. She smiled up at the night sky and the quivering stars. She smelled rain in the air and felt the rough sand under her back and the breeze caressing her face.
The girl didn’t know how long she slept before she woke to the sound of a blood-chilling howling in the distance. She sat up. The sky was void of the moon or stars and she couldn’t see anything but intense blackness. She could hear faint thunder. Another howl came, closer this time.
The wind picked up making her eyes sting as the temperature dropped. Fat rain drops were like needles on her soft skin and she could feel cold fear slowly start to grip her heart. Her breathing and the beat of her heart began to quicken. The Howling came from right inside the jungle and lightning flashed in the sky as dark, bulky figures surrounded her.
The girl stood and tried to run from them. She only went three feet before a tug on her ankles made her fall forward. She cried out in pain as the metal around her ankles cut into her skin. She frantically reached toward her feet and fingered icy, heavy shackles around her ankles covered in her own blood.
The temperature continued to drop, and the raindrops turned to ice daggers and tore at her skin. The sea rose, soaking her to the bone with freezing water. A giant figure rose out of the depths and snached her off the ground. Her ankles burned. Her screams were drowned out by the thunder that pounded through her skull. The giant hand squeezed her rib cage, emptying out her lungs. They plunged under water. She held her breath until she no longer could under the deep black water. She slipped into unconsciousness.
This is the prologue to a book I started writing.