Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
I would love to know what you think! Thanks for reading!
"The girl closed her red eyes," because I think that gives us readers, the first glimpse of something magical, something out of the world.
Immense curiosity. I was left with so much curiosity, hence obviously, you have achieved your purpose, I can say I am dying to read your follow up piece.
What is the mystery of her hair? Why does it have so much of a stand, mentioned not once or twice but three times?
I think there is so much potential in this little piece, it could be the start of something new and wonderful!
Can't wait to read the rest! all the best! :)