Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Wow. The subject matter is interesting, to be sure, but not exactly unique. What makes this piece stand out is the gorgeously vivid way in which you describe it. From the very first sentence your imagery is incredibly strong. You do a fantastic job throughout of keeping us engaged, doling out information, and keeping your descriptions colorful and evocative.
Probably the sense of adventure -- that there are people who lead far more interesting and exciting lives than I do, and the yearning to live that more adventurous life.
There is basically one scene, that of the first meeting, and even then, there's not much scene there. The whole piece is basically a character portrait; it's not so much a personal narrative as a portrait of a significant figure from your childhood. I don't think that's bad. I think this piece is wonderful as it is. But if you want to make it more narrative you can trim down a bit of the description (though I don't want you to!) and add in more scenes of your interaction with him and with the idea of him.
Absolutely. It was a powerful emotional punch, and delivered on the tension you established -- his enthralling bad-boy-ness, but the danger of his lifestyle.
I'm sorry I don't have more comments to offer... but this piece is just so good, I don't see any way to comment! I could color it yellow with "this image is incredible," but I don't think you need that. Rest assured that you've written a truly incredible piece!