Peer Review by Blank Notebook (Australia)

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The Kaffeeklatsch

By: magpies in may

    Steam from the coffee clouded her glasses as her fingers tangoed across the keyboard, spelling out her question. Her thumb hovered over the deck of cards.
    Self, situation, challenges.
    The Hermit, Temperance, The Hierophant.
    Jennie hovered over her in her blue waitress’s uniform. “I told you to stop online tarot.”
    “I have an interview.”
    “It might be healthier to identify your own feelings. I hear interviewers like that best.”
    Iris bit her lip. She barely knew her feelings—she only wanted to know what to expect.
    The “Free Reading NOW!” button flashed invitingly.
    She brought her thumb down.

Message to Readers

Would love a review! Any feedback is, as always, welcome :)

Peer Review

The title of this piece drew me in instantly- learning new German words is always an absolute pleasure. Also, the original, quirky description in the first line ("tangoed across the keyboard") was very cool.

This story requires the reader to imagine Iris' history with tarot and how it has perhaps affected major life decisions or how she sees herself. Is it a matter of personal insecurity? Perhaps the tarot was accurate by fluke once, or perhaps it is actually accurate and only she knows this? The best flash fiction will use a moment like this as a seed and plant in in the reader's mind, letting it unfold in their imagination, which you have definitely done. Nice work!

To build a sense of connection with this character and this moment, it would be great to include some more thoughts and emotions included in your story. I think it would really enrich your piece; your descriptive skills are very strong. :)

I can't wait to see future drafts of this piece! I think it would be awesome if you focused on packing some more emotive and descriptive language into your story. Yes, word limit, but, if you need some help with word economy, I would love to another review of your next version. :)

Reviewer Comments

I hope my feedback has been helpful! Everything above is just suggestion from my perspective, of course, it's not criticism. Your pieces are always a pleasure to read. Best of luck in the competition! Can't wait to see the next version of this piece and whatever else you write. :)