Peer Review by Qi (United States)

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Seashells(edited)

By: Extrasweet


    Shells.
    The waves crash against my knees. Just with a simple slice, a broken seashell cuts my knee, making the water swirl with blood red. I quickly get out of the water, grasping the shell that cut me tight in my hand.
    I storm back home and tell my mom. “A worthless broken shell cut my knee! I hate it!”
    Mom shakes her head. “No, it’s worth something. It cut your knee, after all.” She replies.
    I stare at her. “But it’s just a shell.”
    Mom nods as if that explained everything.“Exactly.”


Message to Readers

Hi everyone! Good luck for anyone who’s entering!


Peer Review

It seemed very simple, using regular words and everyday scenes and characters, but it was really different and unique when you think back!


For the dialogue alone, I figured out the characteristics of both characters and that there was a deeper meaning to their words. The writer does a great job of using dialogue to convey ideas and descriptions.


No, just a suggestion though: there seems to be a lot of action in a short time, so maybe try to focus on a single moment or two?


Great job! I already mentioned that the story is deep yet simple (not in a bad way). It's definitely one of those "wow" pieces!! [Okay, I use wow too much, but yeah.] Okay, and the ending's just great.


Reviewer Comments

Hi! My comments are completely optional, and since I'm not really good at reviews (not nearly as good yours:) you can totally ignore them! This is a great piece! I look forward to reading more of your writing!