Peer Review by fc8878 (Canada)

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Seashells(edited)

By: Extrasweet


    Shells.
    The waves crash against my knees. Just with a simple slice, a broken seashell cuts my knee, making the water swirl with blood red. I quickly get out of the water, grasping the shell that cut me tight in my hand.
    I storm back home and tell my mom. “A worthless broken shell cut my knee! I hate it!”
    Mom shakes her head. “No, it’s worth something. It cut your knee, after all.” She replies.
    I stare at her. “But it’s just a shell.”
    Mom nods as if that explained everything.“Exactly.”


Message to Readers

Hi everyone! Good luck for anyone who’s entering!


Peer Review

A broken seashell feels so insignificant but you wove it into an entire story, I really like it!


I like the last line, it lets the readers ruminate on what Mom has said. Even though a sea shell is so small, it has still made it's impact.


Overall, I think it's pretty good for a short story! I'd suggest you add a little bit more detail to how the cut felt. Did it sting? Did it make your characters blink tears? I think that would help emphasize your point a bit more.


If you want to make this into a longer story, I suggest adding more detail to what the shell looked like. What color was it? What shape was it? How did it feel in your hand?


Reviewer Comments

Overall, I liked your story, nice job!