Peer Review by GlisteringGlow (United States)

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Seashells(edited)

By: Extrasweet


    Shells.
    The waves crash against my knees. Just with a simple slice, a broken seashell cuts my knee, making the water swirl with blood red. I quickly get out of the water, grasping the shell that cut me tight in my hand.
    I storm back home and tell my mom. “A worthless broken shell cut my knee! I hate it!”
    Mom shakes her head. “No, it’s worth something. It cut your knee, after all.” She replies.
    I stare at her. “But it’s just a shell.”
    Mom nods as if that explained everything.“Exactly.”


Message to Readers

Hi everyone! Good luck for anyone who’s entering!


Peer Review

The story begins almost immediately with the inciting incident, a shell cutting into the character's knee. Their reaction to this when they return home seems exaggerated, perhaps meant to symbolize childishness (or maybe I'm reading into it too much). It's the kind of story you could find many interpretations of.


The mom's reaction to the cut. Even the character in question doesn't understand what she means, leaving room for the reader to take away multiple meanings. The shell can't be 'just a shell,' considering it was able to harm the character.


Once you read the story a few times over, a meaning becomes clear. But it's hard to tell what the author's exact intention is. If this was the goal, then it has been done well. But perhaps for a more specific conclusion, you could spend less of your word count on describing the main character at the beach getting cut by the seashell and more on the conversation with the mom.


This is a beautiful piece. it gives the sensation of mystique, like the author knows something you don't. The minimal description is very effective and sweet. There are very few issues. I would gladly read this as flash fiction or a longer story.


Reviewer Comments

Other than some adjustments of wording, I think this piece is near perfect. Exactly what I would want out of flash fiction.