Peer Review by David M. (United States)

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man on the moon

By: leadinghomeward


PROMPT: Lunar Phrases

there's a man in the sky

who comes alive every night

and dies every morning

just to let his love

the sun

shine

 



Peer Review

The personification is really cool. We talk about the "man in the moon," as your title alludes to, but we rarely talk about the moon AS a man, at least in my experience. And then talking about the moon dying when it sets, so that the sun can shine... it's a pretty novel way of thinking and talking about the moon, and I think it's really cool!


I'd say it's definitely bittersweet. You want to feel sad for the man in the sky, because he has to be born and die in the night, every night. But it's sweet because he's doing it as sacrifice, for love, his love of the sun.


Reviewer Comments

I personally love the "taper off into one word" style, and I love how you used it here. This is a really cool poem! Very simple, but that's not a bad thing at all -- you elegantly express your idea and convey it to the reader. Well done!