Peer Review by sophism (United States)

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By: Phoebe L

Please leave a message after the tone.

Hey mom, it's Amelia. Your daughter. I'm sorry I missed you yesterday. The nursing home told me you were going to the aquarium, but I just...I couldn't make it.

Do you remember the zoo in Melbourne? Huh, we sure were a sight to see, between you trying to corral the twins at the crocodile pit and me leaving nose marks all over the glass of the fish tanks. I'll have to tell you about it next time I visit.

I hope you enjoyed the jellyfish. I'll call you again tomorrow. Good night, mom.


Peer Review

How simple their piece is. It's hard to get some good flow on a short piece, and it would have taken me to come up with something as compelling as this. But I enjoyed how the author took such a simple take on the prompt, and I really enjoyed how she tied in a phone message as her theme.

Somewhat of a nostalgic feeling. The author drops some subtle hints about Alzheimer's (....I think), and having the daughter not being able to support her mom is also a reference to how as we grow older, we drift apart.

Reviewer Comments

I loved how absurdly simple this was. Nostalgia and a feeling of guilt are the only feelings I can think of right now - but my favorite part is the subtle hints about ''life problems''. I liked how you included "...Amelia. Your daughter." as if to remind the mom of something, as well as the daughter telling her mother about an experience something that has already happen. The phone call ties it all together quite well. Awesome job :)!