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Written By: Suri Purefoy
June 16, 2015
I'm that girl that everyone...well, let's be honest, is annoyed with. No one's ever said it to my face, but I can see it in their sudden tensness in their shoulders, the shifted silence, and especially in their eyes. Those glistening eyeballs say everything.
I'm the girl that sits in the corner, silent and shy, puting on that pretend smile that people smile back to. I listen to their conversations, not really being nosy, just trying to inch my way further into the group. I just sit back in the shadows, listening, smiling, laughing.
I'm the one that people never talk to. I know it might be because I'm shy and I don't really talk to them, but I'm too fearful to take the first leap. When I do talk, the conversation usually ends right there and silence falls over everyone as they shift around or smile nervously, then they start up a whole new topic, swatting me aside like a pesky fly.
I love to get to know them. To ask them questions, for them to ask me questions. I love it when someone comments about me, so I comment on them. I smile my smile. I luahg my laugh. I be myself.
But that person that I be around people isn't that same that I be around, per se, my sister. One of a few people that I feel I can be my true self around, even if I do sometimes annoy her. When I'm with people that I don't trust fully, I'm afraid that they'll discard me like a broken scrap of paper.
I feel really good sometimes. People will actually notice me and tlak to me, but somtimes it almost seems like they're doing it out of lonely kindness, if you get what I mean; they want to make me feel good, but they don't always keep it up.
I'm afraid I'm not good enough, even though I know I shouldn't say that. I just wish I weren't so shy, so quiet and secretive. I'm really not like that, just give me a chance before you judge me too harshly, okay?
Now all I have to do is gain that enough courage to say something.