Peer Review by Katie R. Goates (United States)

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The mystery of the missing make-up

By: roxy goth


FREE WRITING

"Maxine!" 

At that scream from upstairs Maxine paused the TV and looked up. What had she done now? Nothing. She'd just been watching TV all day.

Savvanah threw the door open and stormed over to her sister, standing menicingly in front of the TV.

"Do you mind?" Maxine asked, craning her head. "I am actually trying to watch TV here..."

"Where is it?"

"Where's what?"

"My make-up kit."

"I dunno. Why would I know? I hate make-up, you know I do. Now-move your fat behind out the way." 

Instead her infuritating sister turned the TV of. 

"HEY!"

"I'm serious, Maxine." Savvanah snapped, hands on hips, glaring so hard Maxine thought her sisters's face might crack. "I'm going out wth Derik tonight, I need to put my make-up on."

Maxine rolled her eyes. Derik was Savvanah's boyfreind and also her best freind Callum's older brother. She personally disliked the 'creep' as she'd dubbed him and frequently wondered how her sister was dating him without throwing up.

"If he's your boyfreind shouldn't helike you without make-up as well as with it?"

Savvanah looked in danger of punching Maxine straight in the face. "He does." She said through gritted teeth.

"So the deal is..."

"I NEED my make-up!" Savvanah screeched. 

If this was a cartoon the chandelier would be shaking, Maxine thought. "I already told you I. Don't. Have. It. Why do you need it anyway? Are you afraid people will faint at your medusa-like looks without a thick layer of clown-paint to distract them?"

Savvanah stepped forward ready to break her sisters neck when there mother, Queen Janice, appeared in the doorway. "Hello girls."

"Hey mum." They said together, as Savvanah backed of a bit. There mother hated them fighting, it wasn't 'princess-like'. As soon as there mother turned to arrange some of the statues on the mantle-piece Maxine stuck her tongue out at her sister. Savvanah shook her fist at her, before immediatly lowering it as Janice turned back around.

"Oh by the way, Savvanah dear, i borrowed some of your make-up earlier. I hope you don't mind, but I was going out with your father for lunh and wanted to look my best."

Maxine rolled her eyes and sunk back into the sofa as Savvanah, looking clearly suprised and a little embarressed, said. "Oh, yeah, of course..that's fine."

"I left it in your room."

"Thanks mum." 

The minute Janice left, Savvanah muttered something that vguelly sounded like 'stupid women' under her breath and stalked of to her room.

"Thanks for the apology!" Maxine hollared after her, getting up to put the TV back on.

"Oh go freeze to death!"

Maxine once again rolled her eyes before settling back down to watch her programme. 

 

 



Message to Readers

Any would be good, but please no flames!


Peer Review

I like the part where you say that Maxine thought Savvanah's face was going to crack from glaring so hard. It's a nice image.


That Savvanah and Maxine don't get along most of the time.


Did you use an experience to build the story from?


Reviewer Comments

I like this story and I think that is sounds like real life. Great Job!