Peer Review by AbigailSauble (United States)

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The Shore And The Sea

By: Vanilla


PROMPT: WILD

There, behind the fortress of the wild palm trees,
Was a clandestine romance between the shore and the sea. 

The shore, with a serenity that shamed the wisest,
And a shimmering skin of sand, the smoothest.

Sprawling across, till where she lay free,
And curved where she met the sea. 

Where the sunlight turned the sand to glitter, making eyes blink.
If the shore had eyes, she would blind with just a wink.

Towards the sea, mysterious footprints run,
Like wisps of hair escaping in the sun.

The sea, swinging between fierce and calm as ever.
With some trapped emotions which threatened to sever.

Shades of blue playing hide and seek with the sun's gold.
But unrevealing about the depths of secrets they hold. 

Stretching farther, till the sun on the other side.
But, still touching the feet of the shore wide. 

Waves wooing the sands in the lights.
Performing serenades on moonless nights.

The shore turns wistful, for the sea, like witchcraft,
Leaves behind a saline, hopeful scent that wafts.

The shore knows it can't be with the sea,
But some of her grains with him still flee.

For their affection would be forbidden and unlikely.
He belonged to the waters, and she was earthly.

The earth, which housed man, with peaks that touched the sky,
Burning and freezing in varied differences, that lay by.

The water, all united in their heat and happiness.
Covering the planet to quench its dryness. 

And even though the sea housed many species,
And the land borrowed water for its trees,

And even though the oceans had a bed of earth under,
And land was relived by the sea and thunder,

And even rivers branched like trees 
And the sea had islands that floated free. 

The earth and water could never unite,
Save to share the black sky of the night.

Such the shore thought, how it was bound. 
Such the sea brooded, waves pacing around.

But there was some place where they had meet.
Some place where ships arrive with their fleet.

The shore agreed, they couldn't have all.
They would stay here, and not fall.

Touching and teasing the other's tresses.
Living on the ghost of their lingering kisses.

And so the sea agreed, with a condition.
That the shore needed to promise, with precaution.

That every full moon night, the sea would rise.
For some moments and then sunrise.

The shore said that she would look out, and see. 
And grow some more palm trees.

And so the sea and shore still meet.
Although very, very discreet.

Lying together for long hours
Lying side by side looking afar.

Neither the earth or the water know clearly,
The meetings of the shore and the sea.


Message to Readers

Please review this! I'm dying to hear any feedback on this!


Peer Review

Mm....well, there are so many unique descriptions throughout this poem, but I love the first verse. :) And the 2nd, and the 3rd, and.....well.....I think you get the idea. ;)


Nostalgia, wistful, calm. Yeah, there's a mixture here. :) A beautiful, lovely, intricate mixture of emotions. :)


Reviewer Comments

The rhyming in this is really great! And you did it without breaking up the rhythm much. :)
Keep up the great work! God bless!