Peer Review by Ash (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


Malil

By: casamiento


PROMPT: Inventory

Malil Genova, 17. No stable home, Irasel 

1. Swiss Army Knife

2. Extra clothes

3. Loose Cloth 

4. A book

5. Paper and pencil

6. Ihaler


In my novel, I'm planning for Malil to have asthma. I thought it would be a good addition because in the book she's strong and she belives she has no weaknesses... then... BAM! Asthma.


Message to Readers

Inferences?


Peer Review

Strong and resourceful (mainly a vibe I get from the Swiss Army Knife). I'd still be able to tell that she didn't have a stable home/ traveled around a lot by the fact she has extra clothing in her bag. Despite this, she had some amount of schooling or was self-taught, judging by the fact she owns a book and writing utensils. The inhaler is quickly linked to the fact she has asthma. I'm just a little lost on how the loose cloth factors in.


The Swiss Army Knife tells me the most about the character. It hints at the fact she doesn't have the best home life. On it's own, I get the vibe that she's very resourceful: she knows how to get herself out of a quick jam. Also, she's very adventurous and plans ahead enough to know she's going to be in those sorts of tight predicaments.


Reviewer Comments

I'm really curious what Malil is carrying her stuff around in. Old worn and torn backpack? Is this all in some vehicle she managed to get her hands on?
I'm really interested in the character and want to get to know more about her. The list has piqued my interests.