abi's pov

United States Minor Outlying Islands

WtW's resident disappearing act

she/they

tbh, i forgot exactly when i joined,
somewhere around dec. 2019?

Message to Readers

old piece from a siken rabbot hole at three am

also im sorry, this makes no sense as a format if you havent read siken's crush which in that case please read it its so good but also yeah my apologies that this looks weird

after siken

June 23, 2022

FREE WRITING

6
separation is the gaps in the lion's teeth
    when dreams are eating you alive.

i: in which i am dreaming

and you are getting married
                    but he leaves you at the altar,
                        so i drive four-hundred miles
                        to wrap you in my arms
                        and cook you manok adobo;

                    i say 
                        nais kong maging isang patak ng dugo upang mas makilala ko ang iyong puso
                    
and so you throw me out on the street
                    and i swallow mud, swallow glass,
                            swallow the gravel on the curb,
        
                        and crawl home.

there's a thin veil between reality and dreaming
            -  it's all seperation,
                            but it's all gone.

ii. in which i am dreaming
    
and god forgets his hands
                    but i'm still begging him to give me that hour back,
                        so he does
                        and i kill it in a sunday morning,
                        with red hands tracing patterns into your shoulder blade,
                        and it's dead but i beg for god to only give it back again.

                  i say
                        je serai ton abattoir, ta mite morte, si tu me gardes plus longtemps
                 
 and so you throw me out onto the patio,    
                            out onto the pool,
                and i'm swallowing water, swallowing greed,
                            swallowing fool's gold,
               
                    and i crawl home. 

there's a thin bubble wrapped around my head and my hands
            -  it's all seperation,
                            but it's all gone.

iii. in which i am dreaming

and there's a gun in the back of your dad's Chevy
              and your hands are a burglary, a thief,
              so they're tracing mine, soft and slow and bloody,
              and it's a double feature
              and it's all a murder. 

              i say
                        halikan mo ako, ‚Äčembrasse-moi, kiss me,
                and so you throw me out onto the trunk of the car
                and now you're the gun
                and i'm your beat-down shed, eating bullets like this is love
                and i'm swallowing white-hot metal, swallowing white-hot blood,
                                swallowing melted film panels
    

                    and i bury myself in an oak tree
                    and i call it home.

there's thin bark and it's eating your rounds
                                -  it's all seperation,
                            but it's all gone;

                            i'm all gone,
                            and i'm all awake. 

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  • June 23, 2022 - 2:02am (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • Tachi

    Amazing writing- I love this!

    I like the repetition you used.

    -Tachi :)


    8 days ago