Peer Review by Ash (United States)

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By: Maggi


the world out there is WILD

there is so much to be FEARED

but though the danger is CLOSE,

it's slightly MILD

and then beauty tries to linger NEAR.


it's cautious and it's TIMID,

for the break of day is FAR.

it helps sometimes if to CLOSE

one's eyes, though RIGID,

pretend the dark is from near a STAR.

Peer Review

I like the fourth line. You admitted that there's many problems and issues in the world, but not enough to complete destroy your life unless you let them do so.

The repetition of the word 'close' in the second paragraph automatically has the reader's mind jump to the first use of the word in the third line. Since the word 'close' (in the third line) was followed by a reassuring statement, the reader automatically assumes that from the eight line on, the message will be positive and the advice will indeed be helpful.

Reviewer Comments

I like how you chose to write poetry and used a rhyming/ repetition scheme. You kept the ideas so that they were more applied to the general, allowing you to share your world experience and what you've learned from it with the reader.