HorizonStar

Australia

G'day!
I'm Ali - a 13-year-old from Sydney. I play chess, do public speaking and learn French.
Poet
Hufflepuff
Philosophy fan
Bookworm

~ Joined October 2021

Message to Readers

All feedback is appreciated! ;)

Cold Hearted

November 30, 2021

FREE WRITING

10
Your smiles were
cold-hearted,
Malevolence
I disregarded, 
When my anxieties were
bombarded, 
You frowned,
You really were cold-hearted.

When I opened up
my heart
unguarded, 
For you,
my hopes had to be
discarded, 
It seemed
your mockery was
uncharted, 
Until
the bleak day when you finally
departed,
I had never meant to see us
parted, 
You really were cold-hearted.





 
Today, our society seems to be full of cold-hearted individuals, whose antipathy overthrows the emotional foundations of human nature. This short poem aimed to describe that, in a way that you hopefully enjoyed :) 

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  • November 30, 2021 - 3:26am (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • zebrastripes

    I absolutely loved the rhyme scheme you have going on. I like how it feels short and abrupt (with the one-word lines) which I think gives great dimension to the whole idea of "cold heartiness". Keep up the awesome work! <3


    9 days ago
  • 4ExtraShotsOfEspresso

    Can't believe i wasn't already following you, youre simply spectacular, my friend!
    Honestly I've had experiences with somebody like this before, and you managed to capture the feeling of it perfectly-
    I'm genuinely impressed by the way you got the point across with such a little amount of words :3
    Keep writing friend, youre doing great!


    12 days ago
  • Grace2Write

    WAIT…you listed me on your profile?! *jaw drop* I feel so honoured! Thank you so much!!! *stares speechless at phone screen* I don‘t know what to say!


    13 days ago
  • Grace2Write

    Nice work! You‘ve conveyed your point in a simple but effective way, which I love. The reader doesn‘t have to sift through essay-length paragraphs - instead, your lines are short and sweet, focusing on getting the message through in fewer words.

    This is me after rambling on about paragraphs and essays: *clapping loudly, appreciating one more human who knows the art of concise language*

    Anyways, I love what you‘ve written, how you‘ve written it, and the fact that you‘ll hopefully overlook this momentary glitch in my usually more formal tone of writing.

    Keep it up ;)


    13 days ago