Stone of Jade

United States

~ 17 she/her ~
Aspiring writer and artist. Completely awestruck by night skies. Apart of many, many fandoms ;) Reader, journaler, collector.
~ pilot pens and beat-up notebooks ~
for writers discord: https://discord.gg/ms6SvmYq

Message to Readers

---draft 2---
thank you Written_In_Water for your review!!

FEEDBACK DESPERATELY NEEDED.
i want to send this off for a contest themed "interconnectedness"

please please please review or at least comment with how i can improve.

thank you!!

a postage stamp away [MESSAGE BOX--FEEDBACK NEEDED]

September 12, 2021

FREE WRITING

5
scribbled with colored pencils, 
written in graphite,
the address inked in ballpoint pen.

the envelope travels far,
stamped with a sticker,
sealed with a kiss.

from hand to mailbox,
mailbox to truck,
truck to airplane,
airplane to truck,
truck to mailbox,
mailbox to hand. 

the cycle repeats itself,
over and over,
to and from.

the envelope is torn open,
the letter is slipped out,
its contents are laughed over, cried over, cherished

a pencil scratches in response,
the stamp smoothed over,
its contents sent off.

each day I miss you more,
each moment I long for your smile.

the distance seems immense, unbreachable, far from my reach
so I hold on to the pieces of you,
I grasp the papers of your love,
and remind myself
you are only a postage stamp away. 

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4 Comments
  • blur.ink

    This. Is. AMAZING! I loved this! I read other of your pieces too, a few of them, and they are very beautiful.


    4 days ago
  • HighEntropy

    ahh it's so noice and sentimental! italisised and all as well..
    if you really wanna be bold with it, try some more formatting ig? write it like a letter or smth? make the address poetic, make the name par the end symbolic etc etc


    12 days ago
  • .amelia.

    love the second draft :)
    like what you did with the italics and the ending!!


    12 days ago
  • Chai Tea

    What a beautifully sentimental piece! I love how you have used repetition to parallel the cycle of life. I'm blown away.


    14 days ago