Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
FEEDBACK DESPERATELY NEEDED.
i want to send this off for a contest themed "interconnectedness"
please please please review or at least comment with how i can improve.
I like how well you played out ths literature devices. and the simplicity of lexis makes it all so simple and sweet!
But, I think you could possibly improve by emphasising more on the distance, instead of simply using anaphora. i.e. talk about it so on a plane across the Atlantic, etc. because this will help make a better juxtaposition between the vast distance between, and 'a postage stamp away', (in the last stanza) pointing out the phenomenal ability of mail to shorten distances. ((that is, if your message is to say how postage & mail makes everyone closer))
sorry if the second box just above is a tad bit confusing. feel free to ask me if you don't get it! But on the whole, it is quite a nice read :)