Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Can I choose two?
"I feel my weary thoughts dissolve in their embrace/As the clouds teach me how to be audaciously beautiful."
I feel that these two lines aptly speaks the theme of the prompt with startling clarity, put to the very words the exact emotion of the moment.
This is something that, I feel, all writers struggle with and it is amazing what you managed to accomplish with these lines!
The writer uses diction that suggests tranquility, and lightness of motion, to suggest the mood of relaxation.
The tone is reverent, the speaker feeling in awe of the majestic clouds, an imagery created through the powerful adjectives used to describe the clouds, such as "owned" and "perfect".
I enjoyed reading this poem tremendously and I felt this to be potentially appealing across periods, places, and people. After all, who hasn't admired the clouds in some way or another? (If they haven't, they ought to read this! hehe)
Effectual choice of words that I feel captured not only the majesty of the clouds, but also expressed the admiration of the speaker for the wild things.
I felt that the poem got stronger and more cohesive towards the end. If there is anything to be revised I might suggest looking towards the first stanza for a less forceful way of rhyming (stress and distress are hard rhymes) but it is still your piece after all. You can choose not to follow this suggestion. :) Why I suggested soft rhymes is because it is able to echo the nature of clouds without you adding more words, which I feel can be particularly effectual here.
What could I possibly add? Great writing, amazing piece. I'd love to see more of your works here on WTW. All the best in your writing endeavours!
- Xin Yi