Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I love the idea of taking Chasing Cars (or any song) and weaving it into a whole new piece, keeping the same feel. Chasing Cars in particular is such an emotional song, and you've managed to elaborate on a few stanzas of the song and brought about such a heart-warming & heart-breaking feel to the original. The clever use of simple four line stanzas really stood out for me, and the formatting is also really pretty!
Some of the lines have become a bit too wordy (and this can happen when incorporating imagery, since there's a lot a writer wants to show), and in turn confusing for the reader. While revising, try reading out the lines, and see if you can understand what is written as if you were reading it for the first time. If not, try modifying the line-- is there any unecessary word? This would help you find a certain flow in the piece, and have a clearer phrase structure.
Hey viktoria elessar!! I love chasing cars, and I love this piece so much, it really brought out the full depth of the original song. I hope my highlights & comments were helpful, and remember that all my suggestions are purely suggestions, feel free to ignore them if you want. I can't wait to see where you take this! -SunV