Peer Review by m i l l i e :) (Australia)

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One year with him

By: Tatu Emicuri


FREE WRITING

His hands were always cold,
like winter,
and when he touched my waist it made my skin bristle.

His lips were always chapped in autumn
but when he kissed me,
it made something inside of me blossom. 

His body was hotter than summer,
and when he hugged me,
I felt safer, better.

The look in his eyes was warm,
like spring,
and it made me feel like he could see my flesh not just my skin.

Meeting him felt like news years eve, 
I was filled with so much expectation,
I now feel like I was decieved.

Letting him go was like January first, 
although I was filled with angst and grief,
I knew starting over was for the best. 
 


Message to Readers

Hello! I would appreciate it so so much if you could tell me things you would improve from this poem, including the title. Thanks!


Peer Review

heyy, thanks for reviewing my piece! this was relatable for me and i have written similar pieces and i absolutely loved this. the describtions were absolutely amazing and the word choices were just fabulous.


this was very descriptive and i dont think anthing would need to be added. the concept was clear and concise and yet you found a way for me to want to read more and visualise the scene. wonderful job!!


Reviewer Comments

this was so great. im glad to know that im not the only 13yr old here. a small favour to ask. would u mind reviewing my piece 'the man in the dream'. thanks. iabsolutely loved this and u should never stop writing. ur writing is wonderful and so are u! <3 HPgirl2021