Peer Review by SunV (India)

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directions (looking for peer reviews)

By: ~rain~


FREE WRITING

[verse 1]
i'm guessing that you don't remember
that we were gonna be forever
but now i guess that we were always never
after you decided to dump me
maybe you just never loved me

[pre-chorus]
i can't figure out who's at fault
i was just the one who was never enough

[chorus]
all the signs point in different directions
i thought you were giving me affection
i guess it wasn't love, just attention
all the signs point in different directions
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
different directions
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
different directions

[verse 2]
i'm guessing that you never want me
that you were messing with my feelings
so now i stare up at the blank ceiling
i have no reason to keep on believing
after everything you did to me

[chorus]
all the signs point in different directions (oh, oh, oh)
i thought you were giving me affection (oh, oh, oh)
i guess it wasn't love, just attention (different directions)
all the signs point in different directions (oh, oh, oh)

[bridge]
left is right,
south is north,
dark is light,
nothing makes sense anymore
left is right,
south is north,
dark is light,
nothing makes sense anymore

[chorus]
all the signs point in different directions
i thought you were giving me affection
i guess it wasn't love, just attention
all the signs point in different directions
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
different directions
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
different directions

i'm not 100% back but i'm working on it :) i might be semi-active, mostly liking and doing peer reviews. i'm just really busy right now, currently working on my untitled series (chapter 1 is published, please check that out!!! i would love some feedback!!) i hope i can get back to writing soon. if you ever wanna talk, i'm always here <3 it might take me a while to respond to comments (those of you who i haven't responded to, i'm trying).
have a great day/night!
love,
~rain~

Message to Readers

(footnotes)


Peer Review

I love the rhymes you've made, and still been able to incorporate such a steady rhythm. I especially love the bridge, even though it's really quaint, it left such an impact. Great job!


When revising, try thinking up of other elements. What if you were to have a post-chorus, maybe just a line to connect the chorus to the next verse. Or what about an outro? It could just be an 'ooooh' but an outro in any songs makes it feel really complete, instead of ending it with the chorus. There are a few tense/grammar errors, but that's totally fine! Remember to go over the grammar and spelling before you publish another draft. All in all (and i learnt this from another CA) spend more time with the piece. Don't be in any hurry to get another draft out.


Reviewer Comments

Hey ~rain~! I really loved reading and reviewing this piece, you've done such a great job! Remember, all my suggestions are simply suggestions, feel free to take them or ignore them. I can't wait to see where you take this next!!!