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Ridiculously self- pressured, hopelessly (and unsuccessfully) in love for three years, and scared to write the things that matter. And that’s me on a good day . Good luck.

Message to Readers

Chapter 1=

Alice in “Wonderland”- Chapter 2

July 18, 2021


    As the grass scraped at my shins, little flecks of blood splattered across my dress. Each pinprick of red bloomed into a poppy, and as the green tendrils wrapped around me, the poppies began to sing. 

Hush little one
Lovely as a dove
Let us take you to a secret place
Where monsters run
And flowers embrace
Riddle me this 
 And riddle me now
We know how this story begins 
But what happens when the lights go down?

    The flowers laughed, each of their petals forming a little loop, that they used to bait me. I turned to each one, my little white gloves stained with dirt and mud, and tried to reach for them, but they always pulled away. Like naughty little children they played, running around and around me, until my arms were swollen and pulled like sausages, as their circle became tighter and tighter. I suppose it was a game, but if it was, I must have been playing the fool. At first, I went along with it, but as my arms began to turn purple and red, as their little throws scraped me, I had had enough. I pushed against them as they chanted and laughed, and finally managed to pop one in the mouth. As I did, it slowly started to waver away from me... its cute little buttoned eyes and nose morphed into glossiness, and, as quickly as they had appeared, they were gone. I rubbed my arms, and looked around for something to comfort me. I didn’t yet miss my picnic, but I did regret leaving my daisy chain behind. Small buds though they were, they never tried to tie me up or laugh at my misfortune. Silent and still, the worst they could do was spray pollen on my hands. I liked being the picker of flowers, not having them pick on me. I dusted myself off, letting my blue pinafore fall to my knees as I stood and looked around. By all standards, I had landed in a nest. I could tell because of the many sticks that crunched beneath my feet as I moved, the earthen smell of the room, and, most obviously, the large purple egg protruding out of the hole in the middle of it all. Now, I may not be the observant girl in the world, but even I found the idea of an egg appearing out of nowhere quite alarming. Strange, how children think, isn’t it? Dancing flowers are a dime a dozen, but a gargantuan egg? Some things just can’t be explained away, not even by a child’s nonsensical mind. I stared at the egg, and the egg stared at me. Finally, I couldn’t take the rudeness of the encounter, and I stepped primly up to the egg, knocked loudly on his shell and called out, “Mr. Egg, dear Mr. Egg! I dare not be rude, but why do you stare at me thus? Didn’t your mother ever teach you how to introduce yourself?”
    To this, he replied quite tartly: “I am but an Egg. What do you think?” And he then proceeded to roll about, huffing and puffing and mumbling all the way about contrary little girls as he exited his nest. To be honest, I was glad to be rid of him. What an unsavory character!
With that, I contented myself with the branches of the nest the old egg left behind, wrapping each twig delicately around my body to provide a cocoon of sorts. I snuggled into bed, but then realized that something was missing. I raked my brain for what it might be, as I retraced my steps throughout the day. My mother had taught me this trick, you see, where you take the events of the day, a gnarled, snarly mess of twists and turns, and you pull at the ends until it unravels again, much like a darned sock. So up and down my mind flew, from the picnic to the poppies to the egg... the picnic! I had run away so fast, that my only companion, my faithful rabbit had gotten lost. Now, I was only a little girl, and after a day of such excitement, I needed Mr. Fluffertail. I always had him tucked into bed with me, and now that I had had to tuck myself in, without a goodnight kiss from mother...well! The injustice of it all! I needed my friend, and now he wasn’t here. That’s what broke me, and I started to bawl. Great, blubbery tears that rolled down my face in inelegant rivers and stained my cheeks red. I would be ashamed to see any of my friends like this, a mess, with my golden hair twisted up into knots and my nose running like a fountain. Of course, as it always is with tears, the immediate pain passed, and in a couple of minutes, my head was cleared and I began to think more rationally.
“Rationally, you say? Rational, irrational, I always prefer my numbers on the more irrational side.” A voice purred out to me in the dark “Pi is infinite and delicious, while being rational only ever gave me a headache!” Slowly, a luminous blob began to emerge from the shadows, first an ear, then a whisker, and finally, it was Mr. Fluffertail! I gazed up in awe at him, floating above my meager bedding. His shiny black eyes seemed to drill into me more than they had before, but there was no mistaking that cute pink nose with the scratch, remnants of my teething days. Here he was, talking, floating, and reading my mind. I started to speak, but he seemed to anticipate that, and he shook his head. I nodded, and started to speak with my mind
 “Fluffertail, why did you leave me?”
“I would never leave you Alice! But soon you might leave me.”
“What are you talking about? I love having you around. You’re always there for me when I need a soft shoulder to cry into.”
“And I appreciate that, Alice. I really do. Unfortunately, you’re not a little girl anymore.”
“I’m not?”
“No, you’re not. Even now, you start to up.”
“‘Grow up?’ No! Never! I’m just a little girl... I can’t grow up.”
“Look at yourself. You’ll get bigger and bigger, until you won’t recognize me anymore. It’s better to leave while I’m still loved than hang on and cause regret.”
“Please, don’t leave me Fluffertail! I promise I’ll stop growing. I-“ I looked down at myself and saw that it was true. My hands were the size of dinner plates, and already, the nest I had been sleeping in was being trampled beneath my humongous feet. I felt the size of a house, and Fluffertail was only getting farther away. Smaller and smaller he became, until finally, all I could see of him were his two coal black eyes. Saddened and weary, I felt like I was looking into the eyes of an old man. He waved his paw at me, and then he began to disappear, bit by bit, just as he had appeared. 
    I cried myself to sleep that night. Just as I would for many nights down the road. My faithful rabbit had deserted me, and now I was stuck in a strange land in a strange body. My tears ran until the first rays of dawn struck through an open window, and I could see the beautiful garden outside. My nest had acted as a boat, keeping me afloat in my wave of worry, both figuratively and literally. Flooded, I paddled along on my nest, drifting past the egg and some assorted creatures that looked suspiciously like the stuffed animals I had on my bed at home. I looked at each one carefully, hoping to see a telltale set of whiskers, but to no avail. Purple turtles took nose dives off of paper boats, and monkeys clutching banana guns clamored about on steamboats, but none of them brought me an inkling of joy. I sat morosely in my nest, growing bigger and bigger, until finally I was forced to exit, when my shoes sunk through the twigs onto the mossy bank below. I felt like I was standing in a puddle, but the creatures around me acted like a tsunami had struck, as waves whipped up around them and threw them off course. I tried to right as many as I could along the way, but I was distracted by the delicious smells coming from the island where I had landed, and I’m afraid to say I toppled a great deal more than I helped.


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