Peer Review by SunV (India)

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let me dream

By: cookie_smuggler (semi-hiatus)


FREE WRITING

let me dream
of starry nights
and flying kites
of rainy days
and sunny rays

let me dream
of golden tears
and elf ears 
of green pastures
and singing passers

let me dream
of loud ocean waves
and hollowed caves
of purple seashells
and twinkling bells

let me dream
of singing birds
and grazing herds
of chocolate and coffee
and sticky, melted toffee

let me dream
of you and me
and peach ice tea
of cotton candy sunsets
and healthy cigarettes

let me dream

i've been feeling kinda blue so i wrote something random with absolutely no point. bye.

Message to Readers

Feedback on this fortuitous thing is very much appreciated.


Peer Review

The simple hook of this poem, let me dream, has such a resounding impact. You've left a lot of place for interpretation, with just enough context, and that's not easy to do, being able to give just the right amount of information.. The rhyme scheme is also really great!


The repetition of 'let me dream' without any context as to whom the poet is talking to really leaves this question, who isn't letting the poet dream? Rather, what? You could also try to incorporate some other literary devices, such as assonance into these stanzas. Assonance refers to similar vowels in words one after the other, and since you're lines do not exceed more than four/five syllables, it would be a wonderful addition if you feel like using it,


Reviewer Comments

Hey cookie.smuggler! I had so much fun reading and reviewing this piece, and I hope the feedback was helpful. Remember, all my suggestions are simply suggestions, feel free to consider them or ignore them. -SunV